Dreams and Coffee

There must be something in Aleve that makes one have weird dreams, because last night’s was a doozy.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve had weird dreams as of late, but last evening’s takes the cake.  Rather, I should say that the two dreams I’ve had this week take the cake, because I can’t say that I’ve ever been down that path before.  One involved a Twilight Zone type trip with someone I’ve not seen in several years, and the other involved vampires (and not the pasty, sparkly type).  I awoke before either nocturnal journey had completed itself, so I’ve no clue as to what happened, or why.  I’ve had scores of dreams involving going on bizarre travels, so that’s nothing new.  But I can’t seem to recall ever having a dream that included blood suckers (except for one that included a former supervisor, but that’s a different kind of blood sucker, I guess).


Today, I went to the Target Store I Hate and was happily surprised when it turns out that – for once – they had just what I’d wanted.  I rarely visit the Target Store I Hate (TSIH, from this point forward), because I’ve had a couple of issues with their employees.  One refused to check me out (don’t get me started on that one), while another one apparently took a liking to the Little Woman and creepily stalked us around the store.  One evening, they shut down all but three lanes, allowing them to get six customers deep, while the remaining staff stood off in a corner laughing and joking.  I could go on about TSIH, but I won’t; it’s not some abandoned store in some terrible Inner City neighborhood found only television – it’s a new store build in a community known for its money.  When I wrote to Target’s corporate offices, I received a curt response that made it clear that they weren’t going to do anything.  That’s when Walmart became my best friend.

Anyway, I stopped there because I needed to go to Trader Joe’s for coffee, and I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone.  I have to drive pass TSIH to get to TJ’s, so it just made sense.  I stopped at TSIH with low expectations, and for the first ten minutes, I was not disappointed.  But then, as I said, I was surprised to see that they had exactly what I’d wanted.  Moreover, they had a lot of what I’d wanted – I had my pick.  I was thrilled, mainly because I didn’t even know I wanted what I wanted until three days ago.  This was kismet of a special order – that a store actually has what I want on hand, and on sale!  So I grabbed what I wanted, headed up front (where the lines were a few folks deep – sigh), and made my way to the self-checkout stand.  Sixty seconds later, I was done and out – TSIH came through for me, this time.  I shan’t get used to that, though.

The real humor came at Trader Joe’s.  I buy their coffee because the Little Woman won’t drink anything else.  Well, she’ll drink Starbucks, but only if Starbucks makes it; apparently, I’m not qualified in that area.  Anyway, once inside, I head to the coffee section, which at this particular store is a small enclave.  Seriously, it’s wide enough for one person’s use at a time.  I know what I’m getting, so there’s no mystery there.  But there’s a guy ahead of me, standing with his fists on his hips and legs apart – think George Reeve’s version of Superman, with cape flowing in the wind – all while he uses both coffee grinders.

I know that he was there first, and frankly, if I bought coffee two cans at a time, I might have pulled the same stunt.  He’s totally oblivious that I’m behind him, so – yeah, no big deal.  It’s not like I had any pressing business to attend, so I wait.

Superman alters his stance slightly to ensure that every bean he’s paying for has been finely ground and is in his can.  Seriously, I’ve never heard someone bang a coffee grinder (and these are brand new, I should add) the way he did.  You’d have thought that you were listening to mechanics in an auto repair shop.  Bang, bang, clang, clink!  I was curious as to what he was doing, but couldn’t see around his posing.  So, I wait.

At no point did he lower the lid to the grinder – a required action that’s noted at least three times.  When the two cans were finished, Superman put their plastic caps on top and tucked them into his handcart.  Then he grabbed more coffee.  Honestly, who drinks that much coffee?  I’m trying to not get angry, especially since this time there was only one can being used, and he was continuing to block access to both grinders.  I debated saying something to him, but before I could, the third can was finished, more ‘bang, bang, clang, clink,’ followed, and Superman was finally finished.  He brushed past me like I was Lex Luthor asking for a sandwich – not so much as a nod in my direction.

No problem Man of Steel, because I know something that you obviously don’t.

When it’s my turn to grind coffee, I pour in my beans and immediately put the can under the dispenser.  Yep, he did exactly what I thought he’d done.  You see, that grinder will send your ground coffee straight to your can, but there’s always about a cup of coffee that remains in the machine.  The only way for you to get that coffee is to lift the chute that spits the coffee out.  If you don’t check it, you won’t know about it.  And Superman didn’t bother to check either of the two grinders, meaning that when I was finally done, I walked away with almost two cups of coffee beyond that with which I’d started.  It was French Roast, so that and decaf will be an interesting taste, but it was free.

Can’t complain about that.


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