I haven’t been writing much as of late. The odd observation or the pithy comment, but nothing of any weight or value.
A few weeks ago, I received a rather hostile note about something I’d posted. The letter writer had a few choice words for me, and accused me of being mean-spirited and spiteful. Stunned by this interpretation, I reviewed the post in question and couldn’t figure out how this person came to the conclusions that were reached. I still can’t, to be honest. I started to respond, but then thought better of it; I’m not interested in an online pissing contest – those days are long behind me. So I shut down my page for a few days as I tried to mentally regroup.
I can’t recall ever – deliberately – posting anything that could be perceived as hostile. Snarky, maybe, but if I’ve ever related something that didn’t involve my own ineptness, it was posted for the humor it contained. I don’t laugh at people, but I will laugh with them. I will appreciate a misspoken phrase or an absent-minded act because they’re funny, and because most of the time they can happen to anyone – including me. The allegation that I had some how said or done something wrong knocked me for a loop; I still can’t say that I’m truly over it.
Even though I hadn’t done anything wrong, I felt chastened, as though I’d been caught doing something inappropriate and it’d been brought to light. These kinds of anonymous missives are a part of the blogging game, I know, but given the last couple of months, I just wasn’t in the mood for it. I debated shutting my blog down for good, but then I realized that it’s through my site that I’ve been exposed to so many wonderful writers – because they’ve liked something I’ve posted, or sent me a note of encouragement during a rough spell. If I walked away entirely, I’d probably lose that little bit of sunshine – and that’s something I wasn’t interested in doing.
In the end, I decided to keep the blog, but to purge some posts where I felt, in retrospect, I’d stepped too far from my comfort zone. I may rethink my approach to what I post, and am considering using a more thematic design. I started this blog five years ago with the intention of documenting my plans to make mead (Spoiler: It was a bust), and from there it branched off into food. At some point, however, it became . . . something else. I’ve been hinting for a while about reverting to culinary topics, so maybe this was the call I needed to revisit that idea.
In any case, that’s what’s happened.